Before Baby Arrives - Below is a copy of my pregnancy journal. I received a wonderful book that I wrote in and I have typed up many of the entries.
This is to the little one we began to love long before we saw your face, before we knew your name, before we could hold you in our arms... to our child, our miracle.
The First Trimester
You came into our life in a very special way. I knew something was different. My body told me my life was about to change. I felt sick and very tired. I was exhausted over every little task. I was trying to sew curtains for our new guest bedroom and even that task wore me out. I felt like I had the flu for a couple of weeks and it was not going away. I was craving lime juice. I would drink it by the cup.
I knew for certain I was pregnant on October 4th, when I officially went to the Doctor. I suspected it a week earlier and took a home test, but the results were not as clear as they were advertised. It was supposed to show 2 lines if you are pregnant and we had one dark line and a faint line. It figures that it would not be easy to read.
I could hardly wait to tell someone about my pregnancy. I wanted to call others to share my news. The first person I told was your daddy. He was very excited. I was very nervous about what he would say because we just bought a new house. I told him that he actually gave us a permanent present on his birthday, you!
I let Tracy know too when she called that day to tell me about the birth of her son Alexander. We of course called all of the grandparents, aunts and uncles right away. When I called my mom and my grandma, they both seemed to already know the news by the tone of my voice. Alan's dad was absolutely thrilled. We had a special way to tell Alan's mom and Shelly because they were scheduled to visit us just two weeks later. We kept it a secret from them until their arrival. Alan made special sweatshirts that said grandma and grandpa on the front and the same words in many languages on the back. The plan was to pick them up at the airport and not say a word until we were home and we would put the sweatshirts on them. Well, it almost worked. I stayed home and Alan picked them up at the airport, because I knew I would spill the beans. As it turns out they were having a conversation in the car about cell phones and Alan slipped up a bit and said that we would be getting one, because of the baby. They all tried to act surprised when we followed through with the original plan. They wanted to fool me a this point. Well, I caught on pretty quick that the cat was out of the bag. Needless to say, they were extremely excited.
This was a very special time for me. Some of my thoughts and feelings were ... I am very excited. I always wonder what you are going to look like. What your smile will say. I worry about what I should eat and how much sleep I need.
Choosing a doctor to take care of us and help bring you into the world was important. I chose Cary Women's Center. I wanted to have female doctors and make sure you were born in the Western Wake Med Birth Center. The office was located at 300 Ashville Suite 220 Cary, NC. I will go there many times before you arrive. My first appointments were on October 16, 2001 and November 6, 2001.
I lost 5 pounds the 1st month another 5 pounds the second month and an additional 4 pounds the third month. I don't really crave any foods and wasn't interested in food much at all. I am hungry all of the time, but I can only eat little bits at a time because my belly won't let me eat any more. I have been sick to my stomach 2 times and just feel nauseous the rest of the time. This is called morning sickness, but it is lasting all day long for me. I wake up at 3:30 every morning not feeling well and I have to go potty too.
Instructions and advice the doctor gave me during my first visit was to drinks lots of water. I had a special condition called placenta previa and no jogging or jumping. I had to take it easy and walk for exercise. I have special vitamins to make sure you get all you need to help me feel better.
I was also told that your arrival date would be about May 26th or the ultrasound said May 23rd. Some other things I wanted to discuss with my doctor were if I could garden, take a hot bath and if my age made any difference. I also asked if I should be concerned with losing weight instead of gaining. (no)
We decided that your place of arrival would be Western Wake Women's Birth Pavilion, located on Kildare Farm Road and Tryon Road in Cary, North Carolina. We chose this place because it has excellent ratings and beautiful facilities. It is just a few miles from the house and they have private rooms with a Jacuzzi bath.
When I try to imagine what it will be like to go there for your birth, I expect a calm, peaceful, joyful experience. I want to make sure you enter the world with as little stress as possible.
Already I wonder what you will look like and what kind of person you will be. I share my thoughts with you, wondering if you can hear me. I wonder if you already know how very much you are loved. I have so many hopes for you: I want to make sure you know you are loved and cherished. I want you to have the best, but work for it to have full appreciation. I hope you will love to travel as daddy and I do. I would like to take you to see the world with wide open eyes.
I wonder about family traits you might inherit: are you going to have hair and eyes like your mom or dad? Will you have nice teeth? how tall will you be? will you like to drink pickle juice? will you love Gatorade? will you like cheese? I hope you don't inherit your moms pot belly.
I would like for you to know all that is happening in my life now. Here are some of the things I am thinking and doing while waiting for you to be born:
I want to decorate your room and make things for you, but I am tired.
My special memories of these first months of expecting you are: I was nervous about what I ate and if I was working too much. I feel so responsible for you to make sure you are healthy. We were able to see you 3 times on the ultra sound. We found out you were a boy for sure from the amnio. Yippee!!!
My most noticeable physical changes so far have been that I have lost 15 pounds and I am in good health.
The Second Trimester
Even though there are six more months of waiting. I already think about what it will be like when you arrive. Some of my thoughts are: Will you love us as much as we love you. We are trying to find the best daycare for you for when I go back to work. It is very difficult to find a daycare that is both high quality and affordable.
I have not gained any weight at all and I have kept off the 15 lbs I lost in the 1st trimester. The foods I crave are occasionally shrimp. This is odd because I don't like seafood. I love pickles and I have to avoid sweets as they turn my stomach, but I love coffee ice cream. Outwardly you are hardly noticeable, little child of mine, but inwardly you are a part of me in every way. I began to feel your 1st movements just before Christmas. It was like a little flutter or muscle spasm inside my belly. By the end of January I can actually feel you more. My belly hasn't grown much, but I feel you everyday!
I visited the doctor on December 4th and heard your heart beating for the first time. Your heartbeat was 149 bpm and the doc said you are doing well.
I had a sonogram on December 5th. I saw your tiny body in mine. I watched you move. It made me eager for the day when I would first hold you in my arms. The doctor said there is a this, there is another thigh and that... well that is not a thigh and it is a boy. Your hand was waving and your daddy could see everything. I had trouble seeing because the monitor was behind me. The doctor also had a new 3-D sonogram he wanted us to try. We did, but you were so young that it didn't come out so well on 3-D. We had an amnio done and everything came out well. It was confirmed that you are indeed a boy. The placenta previa is moving and I can now lift the restrictions of low activity.
Baker just turned 1 year old in January 2002 and he has become very lovey dovey towards me. He likes to rest his head on my belly. I wonder if he knows you are in there?
I first work maternity clothes when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant. They were big on me, but I really wanted to feel pregnant. Wearing them for the first time made me feel special. They didn't fit well, but better than my regular jeans. The rest of my regular clothes still fit fine. My favorite maternity clothes are the black pant suit and the purple shirt and the jeans.
I am still not showing much. Many people are surprised to find out I am pregnant. I am feeling lots of movement. You seem to move the most when I just go to bed and when I am lying down.
My biggest concerns are that you are growing well. I have not gained much weight and I am concerned. I am eating well, but really have to remind myself to eat as I am not really hungry.
I am doing quite a bit of travel for work and some play. We have spent a week in Phoenix, a weekend in New Jersey, a week in Chicago and a week in Florida.
We would like to name you Lars Michael Wagoner. We decided on this name over 5 years ago, before we were married. Lars is a neat and unique Scandinavian name and it is also the name of the drummer in Metallica (one of daddy's favorites). Michael is the name of many of our very best friends and relatives. Luckily you were a boy, because we have never been able to come up with a girls name.
The Third Trimester (AT LAST!)
Prenatal classes will prepare us to help you enter the world. The classes will be from 6-9 every Tuesday in April. They are provided by the hospital where you will be born.
Some of the classes we took together included: Labor and Delivery, Breastfeeding, Daddy Boot Camp and Newborn Basics.
Special moments we've shared are taking a bath, I would watch you move around in my belly, reading and singing to you.
As I look back this pregnancy has been very easy and it has gone by fast. The last month or two were a little painful to roll over in bed and I had to get up just about every hour to go potty. Other than that it was smooth sailing.
How did we get so lucky to have someone as special as you?